Many family members have passed recently, which inspired the body of work about grief and endurance that includes this zine. 吃苦 roughly translates to ‘eat bitterness’, an idiom to remind you that quietly enduring pain or hardship is a virtue. At Chinese American funerals, mourners receive a piece of butterscotch candy in a white coin envelope. The candy, consumed immediately, is a note of sweetness to counteract suffering. Afterward, only the wrapper remains.
I became fascinated by this ritual because it did not eliminate my grief. Eat Bitterness is an accordion folded and fits in a coin envelope with a butterscotch candy. It is inkjet printed on vellum and features crumpled backlit wrappers that echo the lines in my palm, inducing thoughts about aging and mortality. Like a wrapper, the vellum is a tangible record of memory that develops creases the more it is handled, a reminder that grief inevitably leaves an impression. Eat Bitterness marks my rejection of the culturally instilled value of stoic acceptance. By highlighting what remains, I savor bitterness for the perspective it brings to my life.